I had never ever ever dreamed I would be the kind of person who would be worried about & annoyed at the liquor ban for the elections. 

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• cried a bit last night
• submitted all my shit for bc 104 & comm 130
• zero face-to-face interaction outside migan & my family
• i bumped into migan!!!!! i missed him a lot
• attempted to watch sherlock with my parents in their room
• they fell asleep
• yep

talking with cj tonight was so nice

also i am being attacked by feelings of missing psp (as usual)

& i am doing nothing with my life acad-wise (as usual)

today was pretty okay i guess

• late for fa 28 NO REGRETS
• hungry at span ten which took AGES to wrap up
• anj & gab didn’t have geog one today so we along with tessa had lunch together for the first time ever at maskom on a wednesday waiting for comm one-thirty
• which also took ages to wrap up in that really cold winter wonderland classroom
• ga
• yep
• sad feels because of my conversation with ethan last night
• was supposed to ride home with robby but then he backed out the last minute when tessa & andi & jonas came up over
• buying ingredients for the cooking demo thing tomorrow
• procrastinating terribly
• wow i feel like shit

• ugh ugh ugh
• so i’d kinda missed daryl the past few days or so & he wasn’t going online or maybe he was just offline on chat or something so that means we hadn’t been able to talk
• but okay oh my god i am so embarrassed i thought he were pissed at me & it turns out i just forgot that i turned off chat for him!!!!!! :-“
• goddammit
• but i guess it’s ok since we’re talkng now but oh my god *HEADDESK* i didn’t have to go through all that shit with bernard alone goddammit 
• i really missed daryl

• erika’d slept over last night so yeah
• sadly was not able to eat the breakfast she cooked
• eng 11 which ended quickly thank god
• phan & fc with jai & vincci
• wc tambay which was ok & i got to see mikah for the first time in a while
• lunch with ethan at long island(!!!!!!!)
• he nearly had a heart attack when i brought him over to the wfers
• oh wait maybe that was me
• 104 painting things
• hanging out with bernard & daryl & gabbi after class
• moping
• stressing out about org thigns just ugh fuck
• also: happy birthday g!

and the funny thing is that they’re so concerned with me hanging out with the guys who’re barely a year my senior when i’ve already gone for coffee with someone who may or may not be seven years older than me

• busy as hell but hanging out with jasmine today was really nice
• workshop + national’s with jai. it was really something because he and i hadn’t been able to hang out all that much during the sem break and this semester
• went to tong yang centris for nanay’s birthday dinner! i am stuffed + gossip with ea
• according to her, lorenze said that i was prettier than psp’s girlfriend
• (PSP HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)
• *cue panic attack*
• ps: i am the worst pseudo-girlfriend to ethan ever it’s like i’m always the one asking favors and what do i ever do for him
• i was able to go to a shadow play shoot for the first time ever it was really fun although my legs may or may not have rashes all over them because we shot the footage in knee-high grass
• i am so tired i want to kill myself 

• i don’t know what to say anymore it’s just that i have so many feelings right now i don’t know where to put them
• morning was all right, i may or may not have fucked up my english quiz but not all that badly
• and then i hung out at wc for the first time all semester which was nice, during which i finished that fan sign i had to do for someone’s birthday
• and then i hung out with summer and bernard for fgup tambay things while waiting for 104 to start
• 104 was crazy-ass distracting because neck porn (and no i will not expound on that) and i mean it was all right but until we started doing the practice-productions stuff (roj is so funny hahahaha) i wanted to die/kill myself 
• lester was extremely odd today (even more than usual) and he said “babe” multiple times
• bumped into mikah outside maskom!!! waited for jeep/walked toward katip jeep in the late afternoon and it was just so funny because she didn’t want to say “para” even though the jeep already passed by berkeley i just i don’t understand why :))) MIKAH IF YOU’RE READING THIS PLS EXPLAIN
• went home for a bit to charge my phone and then met up with ethan at mcdo and then we went to dinner at that steak place beside 7-eleven (?) and it was just so funny i mean my college friends are awesome but there’s really truly nothing like hanging out with someone you don’t mind looking crazy/weird in front of, and runs on the same wavelength you do
• (we saw edmer ((ethan doesn’t know him)) at that steak place though by the way)
• and then we (ethan & i, not edmer) went over to gravyfix for dessert (yaaay wicked oreos!!) when oh my god norman (riego!!!!!!) was there and he saw me & ethan together and it’s the first time i’ve seen norman since first year and it was just so so so weird but um at least we sat away from him because seriously awkward much
• and then we went to intersection just because i wanted to see it (i’ve only ever been to the diner part and not the club part) and um yeah i don’t think i’ll be going back there anytime soon because too much smoke and noise and wow i sound like a priss right now but seriously that place is not my kind of place especially alone
• national bookstore because books and ethan almost bought fifty shades just because i told him it was basically porn :))) i don’t know it was just awesome just really crazy-ass fun and we were just being idiots on the street and inside the restos and stuff
• it’s so comforting to have a friend/fake-boyfriend like him who lives nearby and who i can bully into having dinner and/or hanging out with me most times
• sent in my fan sign for cedrik’s birthday tonight
• and now all that’s left to think about is whether or not to call him at midnight

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• tired
• and confused
• (and this boy just asked me what class i got for 104)
• and i’m so fucking exhausted fixing 18th birthday things
• if i really had my way, this is how it would go: 
• invitations: _______ TURNS EIGHTEEN (AGAINST HER WILL)
• avp: a fifteen minute video of me reading a book and wailing/crying/screaming
• clothes: a php150 dress and chucks or heels if i feel like it
• guests: DEAR CRUSH YOU ARE REQUIRED TO GO OK
• food: steak and mashed potatoes
• makeup: lip gloss ONLY
•  
•  
• so yeah. 
• CRS things are stressing me out because i don’t even know
• my shcedule is currently crap right now and just thinking about prerog-ing for lal those subjects is fucking stressing me out
• my grades are okay apparently and i’m beginning to hope they’re even going to be good
• i’m going to win my bet against ethan if october ends and i-
• i’m so fucking terrified of parties especially if i’m the one hosting them because what if no one goes/no one enjoys themselves/i don’t enjoy myself/it’s lame/it’s crap/i feel like crap/etc etc
• and i’m also very fucking worried about upwc because my classes have ended almost a week and i still haven’t the fucking foggiest idea about what to write
• also bc 102 friends are being too sensitive about this one other classmate of ours it’s like chill man don’t backstab the poor chap chill bro chill 
• AA still has not talked to me although his sister did text me (idk if it was a gm or not though) but i wasn’t able to reply because my phone does this crappy thing where i have to reset it every twenty  minutes or so to make sure that the messages are coming in and i guess i forgot to reset it for a while because i received her message like six hours late 
• also i really really like talking to this one boy (nung summer pa nga e) and idk i really wish we were closer friends because he’s jsut really cool and funny and ok i really have to remember that real people i know in real life can read this bye world i should get some sleep