• i have unwittingly joined #napowrimo this year
• i have four papers, one fr, one 20-minuter drama, & one exam standing between me & summer
• i have hardly started on any of that crap
• i am ruining my own stupid life

simonsfoster:

littlerubberducky:

It’s 22nd December.

It’s official. The world has been picked up for another season.

#despite the low ratings #and the horrible plot #and the characters going crazy

(via potterdude)

- photoshoot with dan and ji in the morning
- lunch with them and arra :)
- met cedrik’s girlfriend stef @_@ she was… sweet. more on that later
- have to get ready for mum’s birthday celeb. bye now

We’ve all got
battle wounds
hidden underneath
our shirtsleeves
and painted faces
and straight As
and laugh lines
and jokes
and poems—
slipped in between
our fingernails and drawn
across leaves upon
leaves of papers,
wedged into
the darkest edges
of our eyes
where the light
doesn’t reach them

We’ve had our own wars
to fight
and some of us
are still
fighting

Reasons I am upset:

1. Ethan was busy for dinner
2. Jai was busy for dinner
3. Ella was busy for dinner
4. Honduras Pizza wouldn’t answer their delivery hotline
5. I am so tired
6. I am so cold
7. I’m seeing PSP tomorrow and no one’s here to hold me
8. I couldn’t fucking sleep till half-past-three last night
9. Writers Club insecurity is still eating away at me
10. Thinking about debut plans and what PSP said I should do about the guest list
11. Thinking about debut plans and Cedrik
12. The beautiful boy I sat beside on the jeepney on the way home wouldn’t even look at me
13. I’m too lazy to clean up my apartment
14. Lester is such a flirt
15. Pau & Gab hug all the time and I want what they have
16. I have Clockwork Prince back
17. I have no one to talk to
18. The (stupid bloody fucking) Cybercrime Law becomes effective tomorrow and therefore ending all our lives

Reasons to not be upset:

1. I am fed
2. I am loved
3. Ellie
4. Danica
5. Mikah
6. I have Clockwork Prince back
7. I have The Lost Hero back
8. Erika’s just bought Mark of Athena
9. CJ’s back again
10. AA called me princess when we finally talked
11. Migan walked over to outside Golden Crescent last night
12. And I saw Tisha too
13. I finished my Film 10 paper with a flourish
14. Jasmine green tea
15. Lester put his arm around me for a bit and Gab hugged me because he was wearing his fuzzy knitted turquoise long-sleeved T-shirt
16. I’m going to see TJ next week
17. Three days left till the weekend
18. Semestral break in a handful of weeks

Read More

things that have happened over the past few days:

• thursday: incredibly uneventful except for the fact that i was more bone-tired than usual and i kept sneezing in class
• friday: lost my wallet and phone on the jeep. after about fifteen minutes of panicking, resorted to borrowing money from computer shop to get to UP to get home. borrowed everyone’s phones to text parents with. met mum and erika at trinoma terminal. got to SM. cough and sneezes became seriously worse. got a seriously scary panic attack while at the cashier at hypermarket: i got really dizzy and everything blacked out and there were goddamn flashes of light and i was so scared i just started crying and then suddenly my dad was there and he was holding me 
• friday, night: dinner at gilbert’s after my episode at sm. random crying through dinner because my folks said i mightn’t be able to go to lady’s SURPRISE DEBUT that i PLANNED and asked permission for A MONTH AGO. ten minutes later i was in a slaphappy mood again and i was exhausted by the time we got home
• saturday, morning: woke up in a very fragile mood, cue more crying. crazy sore throat and running nose, slight temperature. folks found a way to let me go to the party and i was wracked with nerves at not having money and meeting with psp at the party
• saturday, night: slaphappy, good stuff seeing danica (who got her braces off!!!) and jirah again and lady cried when she got in and saw all the arrangements and i became emcee again despite my headaches and colds and sore throat and it was all good seeing all the planning come to fruition. 
• reasons psp and i did not get to talk: (1) he wouldn’t goddamn sit beside me, (2) i was angry with him so no way was i sitting beside him either (3) he made no move to talk to me or anything, and (4) i was incredibly busy emceeing
• i think i kind of surprised cocoy by downing an entire cup of mardi gras all in one sitting. i don’t think he expected that of me. asshole. (but the boracay rum was really cool and colored green and anyway it wasn’t an entire cup; i’d mixed it with sprite)
• when we (erika and i, she came to the party with me as per the parentals’ requests) got to katipunan ethan was suddenly there at the doorway of my apartment carrying some of the stuff out of our car and can i just say it was really nice of him to be there making jokes like “kasi mahal kita eh, babe” (not sarcastic at all) because the way the night went, even if it was seriously enjoyable, i still hadn’t recovered from the psp thing et. al. 
• sunday: katipunan, then sm north meetup with ninong glenn and ninang claire sans ethan. back to katip, fam left, and now i’m here
• and i’m tired

• dressed to kill and felt good about myself for the first time in a long time
• sat next to the legendary Mark!! i like him, he’s funny and easy to talk to
• table-mates with cwts people Lea and Iris, it was hilarious omg
• photos and giggling and hugging with the girls Jas Elle Riel Kah Anj and Honey omg i missed hanging with them all at the same time i just wow i couldn’t even
• during her short message, Jasmine said that every single morning she writes in her journal how thankful she was to know people like us, to be loved by people like us—that was kind of a wake-up call to me. i keep a journal too, but every morning all you’ll find are half-awake slurs of “agh fuck it i’m so bloody exhausted” and “jesus freaking christ let me die.” it’s kind of funny since i’d written a faux suicide note already at noon yesterday. reality check: i do have a damn lot of things to be thankful for.
• mum & dad picked me up and then dropped me off at apartment with sibs. 
• all’s well